We all have been through a break-up so damaging, or say first love first break-up in our life that still holds an unbreakable chain of memories deep down our hearts somewhere still struggling with a question “why me”?
Break-up could be so much upsetting so that you can actually feel the broken pieces of your heart inside hurting you each time a piece among millions fall [ of course the real heart doesn’t literally break into pieces ]. You will then understand the apparent breaking of heart that pain which follows you wherever you go and haunting you in the night. You will want to curl up into your bed but all in vain you won’t feel yourself cry yourself to bed until morning but that one person won’t come back to you. You will cry your eyes swollen try hiding it all with fake behavior and smile in front of your parents, siblings, friends but that one cringe will be heavy enough.
There are so many memories of your partner flashing before your eyes while you try close it to sleep just to avoid that feeling of loss, and when open wide you will want to see him/her so bad and you will not be able to do anything because that person is gone…gone forever…leaving you behind moved ahead.
And back here you are, still struggling with your feelings learning still to walk alone to come out alone, to smile alone and above all the most difficult to live alone.
There is no replacement or substitute for a heartbreak and no person in the world is brave enough to take that. Break-up could be disheartening but it also is beneficial for you which no one takes enough gut to talk about and so no one told you that break-up is actually good for you in many ways not only one which makes you the better version of you.
Here is why it is good
It helps you find yourself: In a relationship you become so dependent emotionally, physically that you often do not notice that how capable you are, managing yourself single-handed. Your ex actually taught you many things some good some bad, and hence you now know your likes dislikes what you want and what you don’t, and for many it was the age where you were exploring your sexuality, you now know what you would like in your life.
You are finally out in the Big Bad World all alone: 20s are the ages where you are learning so much so that it will create a whole lot of experiences worth enough to lead your life happily and satisfactorily. You are growing up and taking up jobs being responsible managing your finances all alone for the first time though parents are always there by your side but things start up shaping more clearly when you start revolving around your own aims, learning and implying what your needs , desires and priorities are. So adore and cherish your break-ups.
You learn how to handle stressful and emotionally weaker situations in your life:Personal growth is the outcome of personal pain, getting your feelings trampled by someone you thought you loved is rightfully a life altering situation. There are moments where you think you want to die you don’t want to live, you wish you had that person in your life so bad that you start getting depressed in their absence. But you have to keep telling yourself in those times that this is not the end, and this was just a chapter in your life which got over and another chapter is on their way to open up. After the wounds heal you will find yourself stronger than you thought. And then you will find someone new to love to care for and realizing that you are grateful to have seen those moments it only made you stronger on the other end and capable enough to choose wisely.
You know what you want and don’t want in a partner: one of the principles of finding a right partner is not hurrying to make a choice. I have been in two ridiculously painful break-ups in my 20s both taught me, in retrospect, that it was bound to happen. In the heady initial days of love how impulsive and impressionable you were, badly wanting to fit into that relationship, trying hard to make it work, now that you crossed those phases you now start giving more importance to the feeling that a relationship is a compatibility between you two and none of you have to adjust alone but together make it work.
You appreciate your battle scars: All these moments of life creates experience, however the situation is it makes you learn lessons in life and creates a person altogether who is more stronger and more independent, or say a better version of you. These hurtful times will a medal to you as you passed them through so bravely. Cherish your heartbreaks appreciate your scars.
And here is this breakup song for all of you out there whoever have been through BREAK-UP….wink! wink!